Its been a rough go. Friendships that I once thought I could not live without have dissolved. I fought it, but I had to let go - or, let it ride - as my lunch companion said on Tuesday. She, of course, was right!
Tuesday felt like the first day in a long time that I have gone out and lived life, instead of letting life happen to me. I had lunch at a lovely tea room in Bel Air, with a gal whose stunning intellect is often - and, quite unfairly - underestimated because she also happens to be very attractive. Those who underestimate this lady do so at their own peril. I'm an exceptionally smart guy, and without being too self-inflated, I often find myself in situations where I might well be the smartest person in the room. That never happens in this friend's presence.
Our conversation had depth and ease in ample supply, and in equal measure. This is how I am supposed to interact - equally, and with a reciprocal sense of respect. My friend is happily married with a family of her own. So, there is not the stress of worrying with winning of affections, or having to impress the girl; and, my friend is going to help me better vet my choices of potential dating partners going forward. That will be fun, and hopefully she can talk some sense into me when I start short-changing my own needs in favor of simply having someone around even if it were to be at my own emotional expense. I know I don't need to do that; I'm going to count on my friend to remind me of that fact!
The place we went was really neat. It is a tea room in Bel Air, decorated in the style of an English country house. The tea was really good. The background music was nice. What I liked best about the place is that the entirety of the atmosphere is such that it encourages polite and engaging discourse. I can see the tea room being useful as a first date/date-ette venue. It was definitely something refreshingly different!
Today, thanks to enough time away from bad company, and thanks to keeping the kind of company that seeks to empower and to encourage, I took my first steps back in a positive direction with forward looking momentum.
I have a plan going forward. I am looking to meet a good woman, and I even have a lady in mind, maybe. But, now, I have greater demands of a potential relationship partner beyond simply being mutually available. I am looking for someone who is at least 35 years old. I am looking for a woman who, like me and my friend, could easily get lost in a three-hour, five-pots-of-tea kinda conversation. I am looking for someone who possesses similar values, so as to avoid being unequally yoked, socially speaking, like it says in the Good Book. And, this gentleman prefers redheads!
It is hard to let bad relationships that once felt good die. But, sometimes you have to gentleman up, take the hit, grieve the loss, but ultimately find a way to move on. I think, for me, lunch with my friend started that journey! Hurt and worry, for me, have obfuscated my ability to realize and enjoy the abundant blessings I am fortunate to enjoy. My happiness should never have been about acceptance from others. Self-acceptance is still a challenge for me, but I'm going to try to walk in those new shoes for awhile. Hopefully, it will eventually prove to be a comfortable fit!
"Four Seasons: Spring", Antonio Vivaldi.
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