When things go wrong in life, people say trite but well-intentioned things. I think they do this to get you to tell them that you will be alright. I think they try, for the person who has been hurt or for themselves or maybe for all of the above, to route a detour around the process of feeling the sting. I don't want to take the detour; I need to feel the hurt. You think I'm just staring out the window; but, really, I'm looking closely at the pain.
Sooner rather than later, this all will have been put behind me, but for the time being it just has to suck. I have it logically figured out. I have repeated the process enough times under different conditions and circumstances, but always produced the same result of my not being worth considering as a romantic partner. That's just the way it is. I have alot of things going for me. Unfortunately, romantic acumen is not one of those things.
There are those special friends among you who will feel the need to try to convince me otherwise; don't. I know it comes from a good place, but the theory always ends up going the wrong way down the same dead-end street. And, chances are, I can argue my point, with the assistance of the company I don't have, better than you can argue yours. Yes, its about the journey; but, sometimes, you have to surrender to the need to pick a different destination because the one you originally intended is wholly inaccesible.
That's where I am.
"Lost Cause", Beck.
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