I am attracted to certain aspects of almost every woman I meet, socially. In appearance and personality, Jen is all that! On a more cerebral level, I feel an almost soulful kinship with Erica. There is a certain creativity that just bowls me over about Kristen. These young women are 13-15 years my junior. And then there's Patti.
Patti is a good woman who seems to have gone through a bad divorce. I met her at church. She was a sponsor to a candidate in RCIA classes back in 2009/10. She and I have leaned on each other quite a bit over the last, almost three years. Patti has taken a genuine, nurturing interest in my general psychological health and welfare. I think my schedule and my unshakable sense of independence frustrates her sometimes, but she always looks out for me. Patti is older than me by eight years.
The excitement and energy I feel when I'm around the younger women is balanced out almost perfectly by the senses of comfort and ease I feel when I'm around Patti; Erica is almost as easy to be around, too. Patti, though, is the only one of these women who is not in a serious relationship with another guy. Ergo, Patti is a potential dating prospect.
Patti is good to me. She is very encouraging, and she consistently challenges me to improve to my better self. Sometimes she pushes a bit harder than I would like, and sometimes she discounts tools that I find to be of valuable assistance to me; but, everything she does is from a place of love. I know she really wants the best for me.
So, tonight I laid my cards on the table and sent Patti a letter to ask if she was interested in the prospect of us dating. I haven't heard back from her. I honestly don't know where she is with this. We are good friends, but, every so often, she seems to at least hint at some level of emotional interest, posibly even romantic interest. I am not sure how things would work out between Patti and me in a dating situation, but if she has the same mutual curiousity about how it might go, then it's not a stone I wish to leave unturned. I am ready to date. I am willing to date Patti, but if she is not interested, I still plan to pursue the prospect of meaningful dating. I am looking to find the glorious, beautiful woman who is meant to be my best friend, soul mate and life partner.
I am going to Atlantic City this weekend with three of my young women friends. I have recruited them to my aide of helping me to find someone to date. I am still conflicted over the "proper" age range for the women I might date. So many my age and older seem so stodgy, these young women are fun. They don't pigeon-hole themself into some way-too-serious unbreakable social role. The best, most gregarious and fun me comes out when I am in their company. So, I'm not sure what my target audience is for potential dating partners.
Also, I have recently given up soda altogether. I was hooked on Coca-Cola. I'm up to 95 hours since my last Coke as of this writing. I've been a bit jittery without the stuff, but it seems to get a little better everyday.
I feel almost as though an opportunity to date is something I somehow owe to Patti. I will be glad to hear from her one way or the other. I am looking forward to my weekend away. I think with Patti's answer, and some time to myself absent my usual obligations, cares and concerns, it will give me pause to consider where I am, and to start to formulate a strategy moving forward toward where I want to be.
"Atlantic City", Bruce Springsteen.
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