Having now had some time to reflect on this past weekend's fun, I have to admit that if I did have a steady girlfriend, I probably would not have been as readily able to run off for a weekend with three lovely, platonic female friends. I don't think I'd have had as good a time with a girlfriend as I did hanging out with just great friends. Most of the fun without any of the drama is kinda tough to beat.
Now, that in no way diminishes my desire to find that someone special. It just gives me pause to consider that maybe enjoying myself in every available moment is more important than focusing all of my effort and energy toward some unknown future moment. I need to have fun in the now.
My women friends have a mutual friend who called himself Adam Mania. I only got to talk to this guy for about a half hour or forty-five minutes one night while hanging at Bolan's. In less than an hour he became a life-long friend. That life, quite sadly, was lost to a motorcycle accident a mere ten days after I'd met him. Adam's spirit, though, still lives full-tilt through all of his friends, and his kindness, too, which was evidenced beautifully by Erica over the weekend. And, he screws with weather patterns, too...but that's a story for another time.
I have fallen in with a good group of wonderful people! We look out for each other. There is a love among us that is simple and pure. Before meeting these folks, I suffered with low self-esteem to the point of self-hatred. But these folks' acceptance and enjoyment of who I am have forced me to rethink my own opinion of who I am, really, and I am seeing some of the things that they see. I think that is because I know I care about these people as much as they care about each other, and me.
It's like, because of these folks' company, compassion and caring, I went out looking to meet one special person, but ended up falling in love with the whole world. I honestly don't think I could be anymore happy with my life than I am right now, but I know there is still a place for that one special lady. It is no longer a space of loneliness, though. It is a space of happiness and very good news. I want to talk to her in bed 'til four in the morning about how blessed I am to have found Erica and Jen and Mike Snyder and Chelsea and Kristen and that guy Harry and Jessica and Bethany and Jeb and Michelle and Debbie and Kerri and Phil and Candy and Roger and most definitely Adam. Hell, I want to shout from the rooftops how great my newfound friends are! I hope I can somehow bring a tenth of the happiness to these people's lives that they have brought to mine.
It is apparent through his life that everyone who knew him really loved Adam, and you can count me among those. It is also the case that most people did not warm to me very quickly until recently. I think on the night of 17 November 2011, Adam saw in me a guy who needed a boost, and I think he "willed" me some of whatever it is that he has...charm, charisma or whatever. He didn't know me...well, from Adam. But in his eyes I was a fellow human being doing my best to get through this life, and so that alone was enough to give my life great worth. I have adopted that same sense of kindness I felt fortunate and, at the same time, bewildered to recieve when I met him. It was a special night. It changed my life, and I couldn't be happier or more thankful.
"One is the Loneliest Number", Three Dog Night.
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