An Age Old (and Young) Question

Ya know when you were a kid and you would play those hide-and-seek games and if you were getting close to the hidden person someone else would say, "getting warmer."?  Looking for a relationship should be like that.  It would make the whole process so much easier, and, really, so much more fun.

There are women I'm interested in, there are women I'm hoping to meet, and there are women who seem to be, at least, passingly interested in me.  Although, I am least comfortable with the third part of that premise, because I cannot imagine any woman ever being attracted to me.  Still, at least one is acting as though it may - however improbable it seems to me - be so.  I think I am most at-ease with the second variety of woman.  The one who is a concept, anonymous.  The one whom I have not yet met.  The first variety of female companion, causes for me a greater sense of unease - the one(s) in whom I am interested.  I usually thin out their ranks without giving them (or myself) a chance, convincing myself that she or I or both are too much of one thing or not enough of the other, or a combination of reasons and excuses.  Then there is the third type of woman...the one who seems to be interested in me.  This type scares the hell out of me.  My basic approach while looking for female company is one that expects failure.  If I try to get a woman's attention and she does not seem interested, I can take the disinterest and use it to beat myself up, asking, "What the hell is wrong with me?".  Then, on the flip-side, if a woman seems interested, it leaves me asking, "What the hell is wrong with her?".

So, I have been wondering if my friend Patti has any thoughts about us starting to date.  There have been faint signs, which I could be totally misreading, I'll admit; but, even Vickie thought it was a possibility  Also, I have wondered about dating someone significantly younger, as my social circle seems to be broadening in that direction.  Then, yesterday afternoon, while trying to get some shut-eye, I had a dream that I was kissing a woman a few years older than me, but who was not known to me.  That kinda ruled out both Patti and any younger-than-my-desired-age-bracket women, but should it?  I don't know.

"Young Girl", Gary Puckett & the Union Gap.