Hard to Say Goodbye

I have been seeing the same therapist since September of 2007.  Last year, she let me know that if she should become expectant with a second child, she would be taking indefinite leave from her practice.  I understand, logically, how this is the best thing for her family.  Unfortunately, it is not so great for me, as we have made tremendous strides in working toward a more psychologically healthy, more confident, and more self-assured me.

In the Summer of 2007, I was bottoming out, emotionally.  My dear friend Dawn suggested that I at least try talking to a therapist.  So, I checked with my insurance through work, and I set up the first appointment.  From the very first appointment, Vickie was amazing!  She took the time and effort to understand me in a way that no one else has ever fully done before.  We have tackled big issues and small.  She's gotten me through some baseless fears.  She helped bring me to a place where I was able to forgive some perceived wrongs enacted upon me in the past by people very close to me.

As time went on, our therapeutic relationship reached a degree of personal familiarity.  Honestly, we became friends.  Sometimes, on special occasions we would share cards or gifts, but never in ways that were inappropriate.  So, needless to say, when the final session came on this past Wednesday, it was difficult to say goodbye.  I ended our in-session relationship by playing "I'll Be Seeing You" by Dean Martin.  She gave me a hug goodbye, and I left.

When I arrived in Vickie's office in 2007, I was so uptight, I couldn't even sit comfortably in any way that put me or anyone around me, including Vickie, at-ease.  She gently and sensitively called me out on it.  We fixed that together, and have worked from that point to building me up to where I am comfortable enough with me to put myself out there socially.  There is still work to be done, namely, how to handle the newly sought out attention I am receiving.  Vickie knows that, and has referred me to my choice between two of her colleagues.  She also is going to stay in touch with me on a quarterly basis to monitor my progress.  Vickie is awesome, and I love and miss her greatly!

"I'll Be Seeing You", Dean Martin.