Well, that didn't work out nearly as well as I had hoped. Yesterday, I unexpectedly found out that I could have off today. So, I texted my mother telling her I had off today. She didin't miss a beat and said, "Good. I'll schedule my x-rays and blood test for tomorrow.". She never even asked if I had planned to do something for myself. In fairness to her, I had previously agreed to take her for said tests after work today. But then, when I got the day off, tests turned into tests and lunch at Cracker Barrel and various errand running. When I told her that it felt like she assumed my time when she didn't even bother to ask about my own intentions for my day off, she spewed some vitriol about how she and my father help me, too; how I make her feel like a burden; and, how I will have plenty of time to myself once her eyes and Dad's close for good. She went on to say how when they ask favors of me, they do it in such a way as to not interfere with the way I like to live my life. She said that they schedule appointments in the afternoon, so I can sleep in. But tomorrow I have to have Mom to a deposition in Hunt Valley at 9:30. There have been numerous times I've had to have Mom or Dad checked into the hospital by 6 a.m., on surgery day. When Mom's physical problems started I was up for 30 hours straight while she was in the hospital.
My parents are not a burden; however, their nearly constant demands on my time, not to mention more than just a little of my money, occasionally can be. My sister, her husband and two kids are all fit as fiddles and have done little to nothing to contribute to help share the load of my parents' needs. Today, they were off having fun in DC and dinner at Don Pablo's in Baltimore while I was sitting in the car for two hours waiting for x-rays and blood tests to be completed, running errands, and counting quarters to pay bills. Something's gotta give. I don't resent anything I do to help, but I do resent that I'm allowed to continually do it without any additional demand being placed on my sister. The family that I have not had the time to find is suffering at least as much from not having my presence, as Jennifer's real family would suffer by her being away on any given day. Yeah, I'm a little pissed! But Mom doesn't want to upset Jennifer. And she won't admit it, but she doesn't want to upset her 'cause she has the grandchildren; I don't. When you are an adult child without a family of your own, and especially without kids of your own, you never stop being treated like a kid, even when you're 40. My time is assumed, my money is assumed, and the value of my contribution is diminished because, one, I am to readily at-hand living under the same roof, and, two, my lack of children to entertain "Maw-Maw" diminishes my value, if not in my mother's conscious feelings, than definitely by way of her subconscious actions. Things need to change!
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