Change tends to feed on itself. With Vickie leaving, I have begun to consider not only where and how I fit in with others in my life, but also where and how they fit in with me. The importance of my own personal needs is becoming as much a matter of concern for me as is tending to the personal needs of others.
I have generally lived my life as a care-giver and a people pleaser. I do feel called by God to help my parents through their older years. That will not change. However, I now see the need to create space for my own needs. I see that there will be times when they will want me to do something and I will have to say no, in favor of doing something I want to do. I will always be available for any real emergency need. That is my role in this family, be it by choice or default. I don't mind this so much, because I am a natural crisis manager.
I am concerned about the possible conflict and hurt feelings this newly acquired penchant for self-assertion might bring. So, I figure I will steep the idea into the minds of the people around me. Following the first time I deny one of their chores in favor of one of my own activities, I will - and, in fact, have - let the issue linger a bit, like a peaty single malt. I will try to gradually increase the frequency of doing my own thing at the expense of doing their thing with/for them.
to be continued...
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